Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Pooping to opera.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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