What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
