Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
