My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
