I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
