is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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