Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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