I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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