Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
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