you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
