'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
