If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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