I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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