Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
