Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
