Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
