My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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