i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
