I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
