I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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