I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
