Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
