Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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