I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
