He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
