How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
