i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
