Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
