is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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