Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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