Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
