So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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