Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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