Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
