I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
