I think I died a long time ago.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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