a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
