Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
