Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
