Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
