i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
