I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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