that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
