I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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