Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
