Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
