i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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