Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
