Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
