no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
