please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
